A homage to ‘Hump Day’

Meredith Coburn

Are you there Hump Day? It’s me, Meredith.

I feel like we’ve gotten off to a bad start. I’d like to clear the air. You tend to see the cranky, baggy T-shirt wearing, “you’re lucky I brushed my hair this morning Meredith,” and I promise— I’m not really like that.

Dearest Hump Day, can I help it if you’re the one thing standing in my way of the weekend?

Sure, there’s Thursday, but that’s got more of a “light at the end of the tunnel, woo-hoo it’s almost Friday!” vibe. It’s not your fault the other days of the week steal your thunder. And it’s wrong for me to take my stress and frustration out on you. But in this attempted peace offering, I want to show you want I’m like the other six days of the week.

Maybe you’ll understand.

Monday: I’m a bright-eyed college senior who is eager to learn and desperate to move out of my parent’s house. I’m a little bitter about spending my weekend doing homework and job hunting, but hey, at least, I’m prepared for the week ahead.

Tuesday: “Grossly Optimistic Monday Meredith” has been replaced by “Tired, Sleep-Deprived, Post-Midterm Meredith.” Do you know how to calculate the total rating points in a media schedule? I don’t either.

Wednesday: You know the drill. If I’ve managed to floss and only spill twice on myself, it’s been a good day.

Thursday: The Hump-Day hangover lingers, but at least there’s hope—it’s almost Friday. I’m only a few days closer to unplugging my alarm clock.

Friday:  Rebecca Black said it best: “Fun, fun, fun, fun.”

Saturday: I should really do homework. I should reeeally do homework. Wait! “Kim Kardashian’s Fairy Tale Wedding” is on?! Parts one and two?! Math can wait ‘til tomorrow.

Sunday: Unfortunately, my efforts to get ahead were thwarted by the E! channel. A day of writing, reading, and arithmetic beckons. This week will be better. I’m going to make a to-do list (thus, the Monday optimism kicks in, and the cycle continues).

So Wednesday, what I’m trying to say is: It’s not you, it’s me.

I know you didn’t ask for any of this, but please try to understand that I’m broke, living with my parents, and I only have, like, 70 connections on LinkedIn. I hope one day we can be friends.

Until then, I may need some space.

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