By Suzanne Ecklund
Last year, I decided to go back to school.
“There will be so many second career women in your grad school class. Lots of 40-somethings. It’s going to be so wonderful for you!” (That’s what they told me.)
They were wrong. The most common age in my masters’ class is 23.
I am 23 x 2 + 1. OK? (Yeah, 47. I’m the last year of the Baby Boomers: a “Baby Baby Boomer.”)
Kids come up to me and ask me where buildings are. They ask about university policy. “What do the freak do I look like? A professor?”
It’s taken some getting used to but I’ve actually come to appreciate the benefits of this generation. The millennial has several positive features but today we’ll home in on just one:
The Millennial Understands the Computer
I own 4 laptops: 3 barely-breathing PCs and 1 recently-acquired Mac. Each of the PCs serves a different purpose:
- #1 is for printing.
- #2 is a back-up for #1.*
- #3 gets so hot that I use it as a fireplace.
*The fans in #2 run so maniacally that if ever there were a war on the ground, I could fly it to safety.
I tend to do my printing on campus because my at-home set-up is less than ideal. You see, the keyboard on #1 doesn’t work so I have to plug in this extra keyboard via the USB port. And I end up swearing a lot because:
- I just swear a lot.
- I can never remember which keyboard I’m supposed to use.
- It takes 20 minutes to fire #1 up.
- I can’t install printer software onto either of my other 2 PCs. It would kill them and I don’t do assisted suicides.
- Every time I push the “on” button, I’m thrown into 39 non-cancelable updates.
This madness nearly made me late for school one morning. After class, I shared my misery with my millennial friend, Julianna. And do you know what she said? She said, “Why don’t you just plug your printer into your Mac?”
“WHY DON’T YOU JUST PLUG YOUR PRINTER INTO YOUR MAC?”
Can you believe that shit?
I didn’t know you could interracially conjoin equipment like that!
I’m telling you: These millennials are computer geniuses.
I said to her, “I feel as though I’ve received the gift of prophecy. You have changed my life! No one but a millennial could have shared this wisdom with me.
Julianna replied, “Actually, I think anyone would have just said, ‘Why don’t you plug your printer into your Mac?’ ”
Man, I love this generation.
Julianna suggested that we wear sandwich boards around town: “HEAR THE GOOD NEWS: YOU CAN PLUG YOUR PRINTER INTO YOUR MAC.”
I owe one of them my life.